Nobody's Home
by Kaslyna
Summary: AO friendship, with perhaps a hint of more. Alex tries to comfort Olivia after Casey leaves; definitely friendship.


**A/N: For some odd reason… this fits AO… You want to know something weird? One of my closest friends, her name is Alexandra Abbott. Now tell me that is NOT super weird. Song lyrics are from Avril Lavigne's Nobody's Home. It's Alex/Olivia friendship, with a hint of more, and Olivia getting over Casey.**

**Disclaimer: Law & Order: SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC and Nobody's Home belongs to Avril Lavigne; I own nothing but the plot.**

_I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,  
She felt it everyday.  
And I couldn't help her,  
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.  
_

In the time Alex had been away, the precinct had changed.

It was only to be expected; after six long years away, surely people would have moved on.

However, Olivia Benson had changed even more than Alex cared to admit.

The new ADA, Casey Novak, had been her girlfriend… and now she was gone off to God knows where, leaving Olivia hollow and broken.

Alex so badly wanted to hold her and make things better, but she did not know how to do so.

_  
What's wrong, what's wrong now?  
Too many, too many problems.  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.  
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
It's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside.  
_

She watches Olivia sitting on the lip of the window at One Hogan Place, and her stomach quivers in fear.

"Liv," she whispers, and the older woman turns dejectedly.

Alex goes over awkwardly and holds her, murmuring softly, "Shhh… Liv, it's okay… shhh, it's okay…"

Olivia sobs into Alex's shirt.

Alex's heart shatters into a thousand pieces.

_  
Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.  
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.  
Be strong, be strong now.  
Too many, too many problems.  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.  
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
It's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside.  
_

Olivia Benson always prided herself on being strong and independent.

It was a load of total bullshit.

Her armor was strong; she was hollowed out, heart torn, and she had been carved, worn, and weak for a long while.

It was embarrassing to admit defeat, to admit dependence.

However, it was different with Alex.

Alex was beautiful and sympathetic.

Her voice was the only thing that tethered Olivia to Earth right now.

The only thing that kept her sane.

Her solace.

Her remedy.

_  
Her feelings she hides.  
Her dreams she can't find.  
She's losing her mind.  
She's fallen behind.  
She can't find her place.  
She's losing her faith.  
She's fallen from grace.  
She's all over the place.  
Yeah, oh  
_

Casey was indifferent to Olivia.

She had fled into the night that chilly spring evening when the cicadas chirped and the world was topsy-turvy.

Alex held her broken friend and knew Olivia truly loved Casey.

At the same time, Alex knew Olivia loved someone else greatly.

She loved Alex.

How many times had Alex pulled her out when she sank and was too weary to swim? How many times had she revived her after she had drowned?

Too many times to count.

She was not over Alexandra Cabot.

_  
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.  
It's where she lies, broken inside.  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.  
Broken inside.  
_

The rain splatters across the roof, and Olivia sobs. Alex holds her in a tight embrace as they lie in bed.

"Shhh…" she murmurs, "Shhh… it'll be okay, Liv… it'll all be fine…"

Olivia clings to her, wanting so badly to believe Alex.

She is not naïve, however, and cannot.

And so, Alex cradles her in her elongated arms.

Trying futilely to repair the wounds of her friend's shattered heart.

Maybe one day they can be lovers once more.

Not today.

Today Alex is content to have Olivia in her arms once more, but she will not ask for much more.

As long as she lays limp in her arms, she is satisfied.

_  
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah  
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah_


End file.
